From the Lagoon to the Caves

SO.... I just realized today that I had never published this and that it has been sitting as a draft for MONTHS! Silly me :) Well, I just read over it and I was so blessed and encouraged and so hopefully you can find some of that in this still as well!! Enjoy!

Its been too long bothers and sisters! My apologies for being so bad about posting on here but I am thankful that God is consistent and faithful to me and that he is who I look to as what I want to live my life like (hopefully I can apply that into my inconsistent blogging).

Tonight I want to talk about a few continuations of the Lagoon vision that I posted earlier. It was a few weeks ago that I was having a very difficult night. The enemy was speaking so many lies about my identity and my beauty as a daughter in Christ and I was extremely discouraged about how I saw myself. I had stayed in that rut for most of the night (until the wee hours of the night). I was going to go to bed as soon as I finished homework or studying or whatever I was doing, but before I did I couldn't resist the call for prayer that was put on my heart. I sat there and all I could do was ask, "Please, more of you God. I need more of your truth to be spoken into my spirit about my identity and how you see me." Almost immediately after that, I found my spirit and mind taken back to the mirror behind the waterfall at the lagoon. All Jesus had to do was place me in front of the mirror and stand behind me for me to see my shimmering skin as a reminder of how astonishing he thinks I am (not just on the outside of course, but as who I am as a daughter living under HIS authority and love). What an amazing reminder this was, that when I am being lied to about my identity, He is the source that can breathe life over and into me and NOTHING ELSE will ever be able to fill that need for holy affirmation.

The second partial continuation of this vision (it is more of a separate vision but it was revealed to me while I was thinking about the lagoon) was revealed to me when I went to visit my best friend Kris at the University of Minnesota Duluth. I went to her fellowship/ worship group and we were in this time of singing and worship and this was also during the time that my dad was going through his ER visits. Before this, I had been in this 2-3 week season of discouragement and what I saw as only failure. I was soon to be shown that if I hadn't been in this rut, that God wouldn't have a place to lift me out of so quickly and painlessly that would lead to even more consistent and intimate devotion to him... God is funny like that! The vision began with me in a cave. It is the typical caveman cave you would picture with a small fire in the center of it. Jesus had told me to met him there so there I was... He appeared and took my hand and we simply danced together. We moved swiftly and it was so freed from that one moment. We danced together around and around the fire and as we did, the fire grew bigger and bigger. We began to dance in one area and the fire began to twist from the fire to create a cylinder of fire around us. The fire was so hot and I thought I would get severely burned but the feeling was very contrary. I felt the heat but I felt it burning and refining off my impurities and imperfections. It hurt but at the same time, it was okay because I mean seriously.... I WAS DANCING WITH JESUS! Even a raging fire filled of conviction and refinement couldn't break the intimate love and freedom that I found in that moment with Jesus. After dancing in the cave, I felt more filled with life than before but I was also very tired. Despite the lack of strength I thought I was feeling, I couldn't turn down a second encounter with Jesus. This time, he asked me to meet him in this huge plaza. As I looked around, I saw a huge fountain in the middle of the plaza and surrounding us were huge buildings that were all glass. It was like the Louvre Pyramid but even more magnificent! He walked towards me and once again, He simply took my hand and we began to dance. The fountain was running and as we began to dance more, it too began to flow stronger. Before I knew it, the water from the fountain was doing the same thing that the fire in the cave did. We were consumed by a whirlwind of water! It was the coolest/ most refreshing water I had ever felt on my skin.... Why? Because the water was restoring any burns or scars I had left from the cave. In the cave I was refined and that meant taking impure mindsets of my life out. Of course that would leave some empty spaces but at the same time, it is so temporary because Jesus fills us with truth, encouragement and most of all, LOVE.

In Him,
C

It's Been Too Long, Friends

       As I sat in my ethics class today my professor, as the majority would, indirectly referenced Christianity when speaking on religion and God the entire time.  He talked about being raised in an aggressive atheist home and the things he though Christianity is defined as.  The entire time my heart was breaking as the religious spirit was raised up, confirmed and strengthened by my classmates… but was it really? In all actuality it has no power and God was speaking to me the entire time about how others see Him and how he loves reconciliation of His children to His truth and how love, breaking down religiosity, is so important. That to me is such a victory, that His love was speaking to my classmates and myself that also believe in His truth and justice.  I knew he was confirming his identity despite what others were saying as well as the need for His TRUE IDENTITY to be shared by the laying down of ourselves and the exaltation of His victory. 

        There was another guy about my age, a Christ follower, and as he spoke about his faith and gently asked his questions and presented his beliefs I was encouraged and reminded of the gentleness that God has for each one of us.  I was wrecked in this class as I was challenged as well as honored that this time could be such an intimate time of fellowship. I was also reminded that my sense of fellowship this morning is all the time and that my participation and awareness of it will only make me desire it more.  I want that constant communication with my Father. I believe that He is growing me even though I don’t really see it most of the time and I so desire to draw near to Him and Him alone for identity confirmation.  All I am is who He says I am… That’s good news and it is as true for you as it is for me as well as all of His children.  Let Him be your dad! 

In Him,

CM

A Whole Soul

Uff da... I'm finally back. This has been one of the most stressful times so far since I've been away at college. My dad was in the hospital for about a week on and off, first at St. John's and then at the Mayo Clinic down in Rochester. After finding nothing at St. John's my mom accompanied my dad down to Rochester where they were so incredibly blessed to see four of the top 10 vascular surgeons in the entire world who just happen to work at the Mayo. They diagnosed my dad with a disease called fibromuscular dysplasia which is the weakening of the arteries. This disease has only been diagnosed for nine years now and there are no treatments or cures for at lease 30 years out. My dad has an extremely rare and severe case of it. After his stroke four years ago the doctors found four aneurysms throughout my dad's body body and after the past few weeks it is now known that he has three new aneurysms (which are the widening of an artery; this poses the possibility of it bursting) and multiple dissections (the collapse of an artery wall which prevents blood flow). He is only 41. All of this was so sudden and unexpected. The hardest thing through all of this is the fact that my dad is now in an extremely vulnerable state of health. Monitoring his blood pressure is the most important thing for him to do at this point because if it rises too much it will almost certainly cause another aneurysm or dissection and the doctors emphasized that they don't know which aneurysm or dissection will be too much for his body to handle. Im scared. I was so angry at first and a part of me still is but since all of the high-intensity emotions calmed down a bit, I have been able to think more clearly and hear from God more clearly as well. I love my dad so much and the fact that he has lived through all of the health emergencies that he has so far in his life gives me an inner feeling sense of comfort and hope that God is going to do something within my dad and the rest of my family still. For now I simply want to focus on my family, especially spending time with my dad. I have sat back all these years and seen how his work ethic has brought him as far as he is today; he never gives up. My hope is that I can show him that I have taken that attribute of him and apply it in my life because he has lead by positive example for me.

This has been hard and I know that every future phone call saying that "dad has been taken down to Abbott/ Mayo" will be a challenge but God is preparing a strength in me that can only be found in Him. All I can do is declare the kingdom of God over my dad's body and pray that he may somehow become whole in the way that God originally created him. For all of you that have been praying, I want to thank you so much. God is using you as comfort and as warriors for my family so thank you over and over. If any of you have family members with health problems, I would like to hear about them and pray for you. There is a trust that God grows within us but first it needs roots so that hope and joy can sprout out of it in the future after and even during the difficult/ unclear times.

God has put a specific word of comfort on my heart through all this and I pray for all of us that we may encounter the intimate love of God and hear him affirm that "all is well I'm my soul." That doesn't mean that we will be strife free in times of difficulty but rather it reminds us that we have a God with a heart that engulfs us when we run into it in order to find rest when we are weak. I want to know Jesus so intimately that I can picture the wrinkles on His forehead as He leans in to kiss my forehead and the forehead of my dad, mom and brother as well. I want to know the nature of His love, and that will create a wellness within that is holy and above any other in this world.

All is well in your soul,

C

Pushing Through

I just wanted to let you all know that I am on my final academic endeavor of this crazy finals week!! After (hopefully) 6:00 tonight, I will have all of the time in the world to blog for the next three weeks!! Praise God for strength to get through all of my exams and papers and I will be praying for any of you that are, or will be, in the same situation.

One quick thought that I have had over this past week:

I have actually, in some ways, enjoyed this finals week. Almost everyone around me is majorly struggling to prepare for tests and papers, but we are struggling together and that aspect of it has been beautiful. This week is one of the largest opportunities that I have had to encourage others to hold tight to God and to focus on how they can glorify Him through everything that they do... All I want is to be continually worshiping God with whatever I am doing in 10 years.... and I don't think that the score on my bible final is going to affect how I do that (at least it shouldn't). I am not advocating an attitude of laziness towards finals and homework or work, but I do want to encourage you all to just focus on this moment and how you can glorify God to the best of your ability. If he is putting loads of studying or more hours at work on you, then find way's to glorify Him through that. It is not easy but it is a beautiful opportunity because we will all be struggling though that together.

In Him,

Celia

Fighting For Purity

Ello Everybody! The Lord is so good and his provision in our lives is AMAZING so I want to take a moment just to praise Him for all that He is and acknowledge the promptings and blessings He is placing in front of us each day according to our portions and measures!!!!

I have recently had on my heart, a calling from the Lord to gear my studies and academic endeavors towards classes that would prepare me to start my own non-profit organization. Tonight, God kind of whacked me upside the head and told me that my cause to fight for should be PURITY. Boom, the big 'P' word. Yep, thats right, I said purity. But here is the thing... Purity is not only a sexually derived word. Rather, I see purity being to will only one thing. The one thing willed in this case would be a Christ like view towards others in this ever so perverse world. This idea of purity has always been something that has stirred up thoughts in my head and emotions in my heart. The TV and movies we watch, and the material that we choose to read or view in magazines or books is a subtle yet powerful foothold into our minds. I am not saying that I want a 'see no evil/ hear no evil' type of goal/ vision, but I do want to see people shift in their awareness of what is corrupt and what is pure and then use that awareness to create interpersonal changes in action and thought.

First off, I am no pro at avoiding lustful thoughts or subconscious messages, so my intent is not to say that there is only a certain category that struggles with this (I may even dare to say that Christian men and women are those that struggle the most with this idea because of their awareness to it). We are ALL exposed to it most of the day, every day so everybody could jump on board with this.

What inspired me to write this was that when I saw something that one of my girlfriends posted on Facebook about how HOT some guys in a photo were tonight... big deal, right? Actually YES. A large aspect of this movement I want to start is not about preaching to the male choir about what derogatory terms they should't be saying to the ladies, but instead that females too often have a double standard when it comes to their relationships with men in this world. Why is it that many girls get offended when a guy describes a random girl as hot or sexy or fine or whatever other terms are used? Because that is not the value that they want to be seen as... There is no difference for men. When you think about it, I'll bet you'll start to realize just how accepted is is for women to view guys the way that they are not allowed to view us back. Why should the value of a man be found in how many ladies are rating them on a scale from 1- six pack?? I want my future husband to be a man of God that sees me as a daughter of Christ and in return, I want to tell him that his heart for the Lord is my favorite thing about him.

So here I am... a part of the minority in this world that desires for Christ to usher in an army that is fighting the enemy of lust and perversion. For it is not the people but the afflictions within them that are evil. I want to deliver a message of freedom from striving for the perfect image. I want to begin to shift how people of the opposite sex talk about, act towards and describe one another.

I would appreciate prayer for opportunities to kick this organization into gear, as I am constantly praying for protection over all of your thoughts and minds in this spiritual battle that we awake and sleep in each day and night.

A thought....

Adam and Eve didn't know that they were naked until sin entered the world...

In Him,

C

Cleansing in the Lagoon

I figured that I would begin with the first official blog post being a vision I received last night. I couldn't sleep so I decided to spend some time with God just listening to music and working on an art thing... The song Nothing but the Blood came on and I started thinking about cleansing and just how simply it is put that absolutely nothing else is sufficient for us when it comes to making us new and clean except for the blood of Jesus.

As I closed my eyes, I saw myself waist deep in the middle of a secluded and beautiful lagoon. There was a huge and powerful waterfall that was in front of me about 100 feet and I though it was incredibly beautiful, but if I went to try and bathe under it, I would surely get crushed by its power and weight.

I was absolutely alone but I was covered in a thick crusty layer of mud. I was trying to splash the crystal clear water onto my arms to get it off. I rubbed and rubbed but the dirt would just smudge and stay put on my body. After doing that for a while, I saw Jesus wading out to where I was standing. He knew that my method was not sufficient for getting clean and he asked why I wasn't under the waterfall cleaning the junk off instead. I replied with the excuse that I would get crushed if I went under it. He gave me a look that just wasn't having my reasoning and said back

"No Celia, you need to go and walk through the waterfall in order to get clean and you know that."

Well I DID indeed know that that was what I needed to do but at the same time I was so scared that I was going to get crushed under the pressure of the waterfall, so.... I waded over to it and just stood there for a minute. I looked back at Jesus who was where I had been previously standing. He motioned for me to go on with his hand. As I hesitantly ventured under the waterfall, I felt the pure water for what it really was. For it was not just water, but rather a mixture of Jesus' blood and love. It was so overwhelming and joy bearing that I felt like I would fall under the Glory of it any second but at the same time I felt the sensation of it holding me up and sustaining me throughout my walk to the other side.

As I reached the other side, Jesus was waiting for me and he was holding a body-length mirror so that I could see what I looked like clean. Not only was the thick crusty mud gone, but my skin shimmered with speckles of silver and gold. It was the most beautiful way I have ever seen myself. I felt whole and perfect and His soft eyes affirmed that in my inner being.

The whole point of that encounter was for Him to tell me that I need to be going DIRECTLY to His love, blood and forgiveness in order to be clean and perfect and whole in Him. The water I was splashing on myself initially represented the false things I run to when I want to feel forgiven and filled, because submersing myself into the entirety of His love and grace seems so intimidating at times. The thing is, when we do go directly to Him, the weight of His glory is so incredible that it is hard to not feel forgiven and filled back up.

I want to get to a point where I am not only filled up, but overflowing. For to be overflowing, we much be constantly poured into. I am here to grow and grow with all of you which is exciting, so lets keep going deeper shall we?!

In Him,

C

Hello all!

I have been praying about starting a blog for a while now so here it is! I want this blog to be something that can ignite The Burning Ones (us) of this generation to just dig into the beauty of Jesus and what treasures can be found in His word so that we may all be encouraged in the most intimate way. We are The Burning Ones so let us begin to walk in that authority to glorify the Father!

In Him,

C